Happy New Year + The Indian Rex

Welcome to 2017, folks. This year is going to be insane. Who knows what will happen. How many celebrities will die? Will our new asshat President start a thermonuclear war with a fucking Tweet? One can only wait and see. I’ll do my best to write more and keep this place free of cobwebs.

 

In the meantime, I’ll share what I did yesterday during the blizzard my area experienced. I got a T.Rex costume for my birthday last year (like most 42 year old ladies, right?) and have only used it twice. Once was for the sketch comedy writing class I took, and, well, here’s the second time, for your viewing pleasure.

 

 

 

 

 

I Can Has Autumn?

As I type this, the month of May is almost over. Summer is upon us. Sunshine, beaches, barbecues, shorts, tank tops, flip flops, all that stuff. Stuff I hate.

The heat, my god, the heat! Who wants to roast like a pig on a spit? How is heat and humidity a nice feeling? I do not enjoy sweating at all. It’s a shame, since in my older years I’ve become what some people call a “Sweaty Betty”. Any little rise in temperature starts the swirl of dampness around my pits and forehead. Then paranoia sets in. Do I have B.O.? Do I look like I just ran a marathon? And don’t get me started on what the hot air does to my hair. Curls turn into a frizzed out clown wig in seconds. Give me the cool, crisp, fall surroundings. I feel fresh and so clean, clean. Hair’s on point and my armpits are dry and smell like lavender (thanks, Secret!).

Beaches? I don’t need no stinking beaches! Sure, I live in a city that has the word Beach in it, but that doesn’t mean I’m at the oceanfront in a swimsuit (horrors). That sand gets everywhere, even if you take a barefoot stroll fully clothed. Somehow, it will end up in your butt crack, I’m telling you. I love the ocean and all the critters in it, but I’ll view it from the deck of my lovely Cape Cod mansion (imaginary, naturally). At dusk, in mid-October. No grains of sand in my butt in that scenario.

When you don’t eat meat, barbecues are a drag. Unless I’m hanging out with my tons of vegetarian/vegan friends and we’re grilling tofu burgers and veggie shish kebobs, but I don’t have tons of those friends. And I don’t have a grill. So I’ll enjoy some tater tots and a burrito in my heavily air conditioned (imaginary) Cape Cod mansion. Followed by some dairy free ice cream.

Summer attire is the worst. The WORST! I’m 41 years old, not in the greatest shape, and am as pale as a White Walker in Game of Thrones. My legs are always dry. I could soak them in a giant vat of cocoa butter for three hours, and they’d still look like rhinoceros skin. Who wants to gaze at those things? Wearing shorts hurts my soul. And tank tops? I can deal with them slightly better, since it’s an excuse to show off my sweet tattoos, but the ink is attached to pasty, freckly arms. In constant fear of getting burned by the evil yellow orb in the sky. Give me sweaters! All of the hoodies! Jeans! Boots! Converse! Layers upon layers of clothing to keep my fragile white skin safe from society!

Have I Got A Story For You….

Happy Saturday, little darlin’s. Hope the long, cold, and lonely winter is winding down for you. I wanted to post an update here to let you know something: I grabbed a notebook this week, stuck a pen in the spiral, and jotted down thoughts and ideas every day. That hasn’t happened in a long while. It’s a good sign, though. It means I’ll be posting more content here. Working my writing juices into a tasty smoothie of fun. Ewwww, that sounds gross, doesn’t it? Maybe not the best metaphor, but I’ll go with it. I have to thank my buddy Kris for the motivation. He recently asked me to cohost the second season of his podcast, The Peaceful Pirate, and we started recording last weekend. Do yourself a favor and catch up on the first season now. You’ll learn that if you have a passion, you can do something with it. You’ll learn tips on how to do it too. I’m attempting to take his advice. Hence me and the notebook. This update is based on the first thing I scribbled in there….

Stories. Everyone has them. Lately, they’ve surrounded me, coming from friends and strangers. When chatting about podcasting and podcasts in general, several folks suggested The Moth, so I subscribed. It’s been a perfect accompaniment to my work commute. A collection of stories told by people from all walks of life. Some funny, some scary, they’re all over the place. But the coolest part is they’re all true. I’ve been in my car laughing, crying, and enraptured. I imagine I’m sitting in front of whoever is spinning their tale, in a cozy room with a fireplace. My favorite Moth story so far was from the late Taylor Negron. It’s a doozy. Check it out for yourself:

Not long after I became a fan of The Moth, my friend and fellow Mouthy Broad, Deb, founded a monthly storytelling showcase here in the Hampton Roads area. It’s called Tell Me More. It takes place at the wonderful Push Comedy Theater, and it’s super exciting to see how it’s taking off. The first event sold out! My friends and aquaintances have fantastic stories to tell. Check out Laura’s story about shitting herself.. Trust me, it’s awesome. Look around at the rest of the Tell Me More website to learn more about the events.

Finally, I had one more encounter with the telling of stories recently. I met Vee through another great friend. We hit it off immediately. She’s unique, lovely, talented, and strong. She recently competed in a story slam for the organization For Kids, and WON! It’s inspiring as hell – watch:

Pretty amazing, huh? Listening to all of these experiences has restored my faith in humanity. It helps to remind me that we’re all going through something, 24/7, 365 days a year.

 

 

 

Let The Wookie Meet Meri?

Holy crap, folks – in a few weeks, I will hopefully meet the man who portrays one of the most iconic, tall, furry, badass characters in the Star Wars universe. I’m talking about Peter Mayhew who plays Chewbacca!

Not only is this an amazing possibility (by the way, the event he’s attending is here – ROFCON in Virginia Beach), but we have a brief history. He named a freaking goat after me!!!!

Is that awesome or what? I don’t know what’s going on with Merideth the goat, but I hope she’s happy and being chill, making cool goat noises.

Back to the man himself. What should I say when I meet him? What should I wear? Should I bring a stuffed goat? Where does one get a stuffed goat (I mean like a plush toy, not a taxidermic thing)? I’m legit nervous and excited.

 

UPDATE: I just purchased tickets to the Con’s Star Wars themed dinner, and Peter will be a guest. RIP ME.

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Catching Up, Being Thankful

Has it really been over a month since I posted anything here? Wow. I went through a weird, blah-tastic period where all I wanted to do on this laptop was stare at dumb internet crap instead of write. I was unmotivated and numb. No deep, underlying reason for it, I don’t think. I just wanted to do things, watch things, read things, listen to things, and not think about things. So there’s that.

But now it’s time to not only think about things, but WRITE ABOUT THINGS! Let’s catch up, shall we?

Towards the end of April, I interviewed a celebrity for the first time, on the phone. What they call a “phoner” in the entertainment business. I was nervous and not very confident about my questions, but comedian Brian Regan was super nice and was very pleasant to speak with. I am grateful to AltDaily for letting me do the interview, and to my mother, who inspired the theme/title. Read the article: http://www.altdaily.com/features/86-entertainment1/6785-moms-love-brian-regan-you-will-too – If you’re a resident of the 757, I highly suggest you become a loyal reader of AltDaily. Their intentions are pure, the content is great, and you’ll learn a lot. I also got free tickets to see Brian Regan, and the show was hilarious. He is truly one of the best stand ups ever to…. stand up.

In May, I finally cleaned out the desk I’ve had since I was eight. It was put on the curb, picked up by some random stranger who hopefully gave it to their kid to use. There was much nostalgia in that desk. Tons of photos, scraps of paper, ticket stubs, and mementos from the past bajillion years. A lot of the mementos related to U2, my all time favorite band and fangirl focus. I thought about the friends I made and all the amazing experiences I had thanks to those four dudes from Ireland. It was weird, because a week after collecting and organizing all of the nostalgic tidbits from my old desk, I suddenly lost one of those dear friends I made during those younger days. Her name was Lyn, and she was one in a million. We became pen pals in the late 80s/early 90s. Her U2 devotion knew no bounds. She was enthusiastic, kind, and didn’t let her physical limitations deter her from enjoying what she loved. We saw four U2 shows together, and through her I met other fantastic friends. We didn’t stay super close over the years, but I thought of her often, and thanks to Facebook, we kept in touch. In 2009 we reunited for a U2 concert in NC. Lyn’s on the left, I’m on the right, with Kim & Dianne between us.

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Look at us back in 1992!

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Finally, here’s Lyn with Bono in the Joshua Tree days. She’d met him numerous times over the years, but this was my favorite picture. She’ll be missed.

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There are some other things that have been going on lately, but I may write about them separately. Since I’m now sitting here nostalgic and teary eyed thinking about Lyn and our mutual love of music, I’ll end with what I experienced two nights ago: The dude and I got to see Elton John perform. Like the Springsteen show earlier this year, it was a last minute surprise, thanks to the dude’s company having a corporate box at the venue. No clients took the seats, so we got ’em! The show was glorious. Elton put on a fantastic performance; so many hits. We were floored. Check out the setlist: http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/elton-john/2014/farm-bureau-live-virginia-beach-va-13c009f5.html. I have to say, hearing songs like Tiny Dancer, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, and Levon left me with shivers, but I do have a soft spot for 80s Elton. I kind of went batshit when I’m Still Standing started. But I learned to never take a sweeping musical genius like him for granted.

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Well, I really need to go brush my teeth, because it’s almost noon and that hasn’t happened yet. My mouth feels disgusting. I’ll close with this:  For someone like me, whose senior yearbook quote was “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” (thanks John Lennon!), I’m lucky to get cool opportunities. Interviewing a comedian and writing about it for a local magazine, meeting amazing people and having them in my heart forever, and unexpected, once in a lifetime concert experiences. Pretty fortunate for being a lazy girl, sitting in an inner tube, meandering down the river of life.

My Funny Hometown

I have two things to say, and they’re related, so pay attention.

 

Thing one:  I am a fan of comedy.  Always have been.  SNL.  Monty Python.  Ricky Gervais.  Tina Fey.  Curb Your Enthusiasm.  Blah blah blah.  These are a few of my favorite things.  How do these human beings make such funny stuff?  I want to know.  Maybe I could do it too, some way, some how.  But could I be funny in a place that isn’t Hollywood or NYC or Chicago?  Being the ignorant slut that I am (IT’S AN SNL REFERENCE GARSH), I had no idea, until recently.  The answer is most definitely YES.  I decided to get out of my comfort zone and try an improv class at a place called The Muse.  Who the hell would be teaching this stuff?  Well, a great group called The Pushers.  I was amazed at their talent, kindness, and patience.  Faith in local humanity was restored.  I had a blast learning from them.  I can’t wait to learn more.  Hopefully that will happen soon.  Which brings me to……

Thing two:  I like where I live.  Hampton Roads, VA is a diverse, expansive group of cities.  There’s lots of history, geography, military presence (I mean that in the employment/people sort of way, not the armies waiting to shoot shit sort of way), and things to do.  You know what, though?  It could be even better for the funny, creative, and artistic  geniuses that inhabit this locale.  Norfolk is in the process of creating its own Arts District.  How cool is that?  And how amazing would it be to have our own comedy theater?  Take classes, see shows, and be a part of a comedy community?  I love it.  I’m broke as a joke, but I made a point to contribute to The Pushers’ Kickstarter – Help The Push Comedy Theater!  I am asking you to do the same.  If you also live in the 757, that’s great.  Give them some buckaroos and be a part of the awesome insanity.  Don’t live here?  Well, contribute anyway.  Perhaps your donation will inspire you to be a part of your own local comedy scene.  See who’s performing at your local comedy club when a headlining act isn’t in town.  Look into taking a class – improv, sketch writing, acting, whatever.  You’ll meet some great people.  Like all of these folks who are making a difference in my home town….

And since I just uttered the words “home town”, I’m now forcing you to listen to this….