Quick Book Review: The Writer’s Cut

The Writer's CutThe Writer’s Cut by Eric Idle

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Oh, Eric. I love you and will forever cherish you until the end of time. You’re one of my comedy Beatles.

This is the first novel of Idle’s I’ve experienced, and it’s fun, silly, madcap, naughty, and a very quick read. Television writer Stanley Hay is the main character, and he’s not too unlike the author. I honestly thought the beginning of the book was an introduction by Eric because it’s filled with his usual name dropping and descriptions of ladies’ body parts (go read his memoirs and tour diaries – he’s a hilarious celebrity-befriended dirty old man). But no, it’s Stanley, a dude who finds himself overpowered by the Tinseltown machine after promising to deliver a tell-all Hollywood expose, and getting so caught up in the hype, he doesn’t seem to find the time to actually write it.

I wanted to try this to see what Eric’s fiction is like, but now that I know, I’ll most likely stick to the autobiographical stuff. The Writer’s Cut is fun, but not something I’d ever go back to.

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Belle & Dubs Is What The World Needs

Good afternoon, evening, morning, or witching hour to you. Things have gotten awfully WILD in 2020, huh? My last post was a recap of spending all day at a pop culture convention, with wall to wall strangers, shaking hands, touching, nudging, and who knows what else. Sounds extremely reckless and dangerous considering where we are now, eh? Yeah. To say humanity is a bit ON EDGE is mild at the least. We’re all dealing with this virus as best we can. We’re all suffering. In minor and major ways. If I could give everyone a giant, soft, comforting, socially distant hug I would. In the meantime, let me give you something to please your earholes and your ha-ha reflex. Go, subscribe to Belle and Dubs In the Morning!

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How do I describe this immensely fun, silly, smart, pop culture appreciative scripted dose of episodic goodness? Well, let me ask you some questions:

  1. Do you enjoy laughing at things like butts and weiners?
  2. Are you a fan of Grand Theft Auto? Red Dead Redemption? College radio?
  3. Do you like music? Enough that you’d get references to songs and bands and lyrics and the like?

If you answered yes to any of those, this will be a hell of a ride for ya. My friends Justin and Jennie worked their asses off to create this amazing project. They recruited a bunch of hilarious people to take part too – including me! I suppose I can be hilarious. Right? RIGHT. I had a complete blast being a small part of it. Look how much fun we had!!

I admire people who can stay motivated to do creative things because I am lazy and have trouble doing more than consuming art (unless something gives me a super inspirational kick in the butt).  Do yourself a favor and get in on the Belle & Dubs action. The second season has just started – Why are two college radio personalities from San Andreas, CA all of a sudden in a sleepy western spot called Strawberry? Tune in to find out.

 

I Love A Playlist. Even Better When It’s Personal.

I challenge you to make a playlist based on these questions and share it with a blog or social media post of your own. I’m on Spotify, but if you have another platform, do it that way. Share in the comments. I love listening to personal playlists, yo. Here is mine, with the questionnaire/answers below. Oh, and if it looks weirdly alphabetic, you’re like Sherlock or some shit. I used my massive shuffled playlist as a reference. I need things to trigger my old and beleaguered brain.

 

1. A song you like with a color in the title:  Back in Black – AC/DC. Black has a lot of meaning for this song. Brian was introducing himself after Bon Scott’s death, and even though I’m not a huge fangirl of the band, I’m about to rock almost 90% of the time, so I know when to respect it, and be saluted for it. That and the iconic guitar riff.

 
2. A song you like with a number in the title4 Degrees – ANOHNI. Fuckin’ A, this song is POWERFUL. Climate change is real and depressing, and when I first heard this tune full of emotion and realness, I almost died of emotion. It’s so cinematic. And I don’t mean that in a Disney way, I mean montages of awful destruction. Like those slo mo shots of a dead animal decomposing.

 
3. A song that reminds you of summertime: Freeway of Love – Aretha Franklin. I was thinking this tune reminded me of the summer of ’84, but after doing research, it came out a year later, so there’s middle age for ya. It’s kind of silly, but also perfect for an 11 year old kid who really hadn’t acknowledged the power of Aretha yet. Plus American Idol’s own Randy Jackson played bass on it.

 
4. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about: Good Time – Counting Crows. The last dude I hooked up with before I met my wonderful partner of 16 years liked Counting Crows, and Hard Candy was their latest one back then. He was a waiter at TGI Friday’s, and we had sex with a tarantula in the room. YIKES. Nothing really against him, but I’d rather not recall doing it with a large spider close by.

 
5. A song that needs to be played LOUD: I Want It That Way – Backstreet Boys. COME ON. When this jam comes on I crank it and pretend I give a shit about boy bands. This is a good song and you can’t sing along unless it’s super loud.

 
6. A song that makes you want to dance: Hey Ladies – Beastie Boys.  Do I need to explain this?

 
7. A song to drive to: Mother Nature’s Son – The Beatles. In my cinematic mind, I picture myself in some sort of convertible vehicle, or a Volkswagen Bus, with my hand out of the window, making waves.

 
8. A song about drugs or alcohol: Gimme Some More – Busta Rhymes. Yo Spliff, where the weed at? Also, remember when Flip Mode was the greatest?

 
9. A song that makes you happy: Finally – Cece Peniston. There has NEVER been a time when I heard this song and didn’t smile, or pretend I was a drag queen, or remembered Cece’s adorable face in the video.

 

 
10. A song that makes you sad: I Just Shot John Lennon – The Cranberries. Why would you make this song, Cranberries? Shit, it made me sad for obvious reasons back in the day, but now that Dolores is gone, it makes me want to cry even more. Ugh.

 
11. A song that you never get tired of: Suite: Judy Blue Eyes – Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young. A masterpiece of a song. Harmonies, catchiness, and did I mention HARMONIES?

 
12. A song from your preteen years: Victims – Culture Club. I kind of want to pat myself on the back for appreciating songs like this when I was 11 or 12.

 
13. One of your favorite 80’s songs: Boys Don’t Cry – The Cure. I caught on to Robert Smith and the gang in the late 80’s, thanks to some junior high pals and some weird Half Hour Comedy Hour skit on MTV (does anyone know what I’m talking about?).

 
14. A song that you would love played at your wedding: On My Mind – Damone. I was married once, and our wedding song was a good one. It sucks that it’s attached to something that didn’t work out. This gem would totally be in the wedding I have no intention of ever having. Because once is enough.

 
15. A song that is a cover by another artist: Street Spirit (Fade Out) – The Darkness. Do not even joke with me – this version FUCKING RULES.

 
16. Your favorite movie or TV theme: The Batman Theme – Danny Elfman. This needs no explanation. EPIC.

 
17. A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke: Dancing In The Street – David Bowie & Mick Jagger. Who wouldn’t want to recreate those… interesting dance moves? And hint that you’ve slept together? And wear those badass 80’s outfits (in your head at least)?

 
18. A song from the year that you were born: Waterloo – ABBA. One of the greatest pop songs to ever pop. And be a Eurovision WINNER!

 
19. A song that makes you think about life: People Are People – Depeche Mode. I remember dancing around to this song in my grandparents’ pool cabana as a kid, innocently thinking how silly it is that people are mean to each other.

 
20. A song that has many meanings to you: The Edge of Glory – Lady Gaga. I belted out this jam for quite a while, thinking it had something to do with telling your haters to screw off & live like you’re dying. Then Gaga said this (from Wikipedia): “It was about how when my grandma was standing over my grandfather while he was dying. There was this moment where I felt like he had sort of looked at her and reckoned that he had won in life. Like, ‘I’m a champion. We won. Our love made us a winner.’ They were married 60 years. I thought about that idea, that the glorious moment of your life is when you decide that it’s okay to go, you don’t have any more words to say, more business, more mountains to climb. You’re on the cliff, you tip your hat to yourself and you go. That’s what it was for me in that moment when I witnessed it.” FUUUUUUUUCK.

 
21. A favorite song with a person’s name in the title: It’s A Shame About Ray – The Lemonheads. I saw Evan Dando sing this two feet in front of me. It was beautiful.

 
22. A song that makes you laugh: Jizz In My Pants – The Lonely Island. Anything Andy, Jorma, and Akiva do is fucking hysterical.

 
23. A song that you think everybody should listen to: Me & Magdalena – The Monkees. I cried tears of nostalgia and joy when I heard this. Nesmith & Dolenz have some beautiful harmonies.

 
24. A song by a band you wish were still together: Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle – Nirvana. I wonder what the hell Kurt would be doing musically if he was still around….

 
25. A song by an artist no longer living: Ten Crack Commandments – The Notorious B.I.G. I also wonder what stuff Biggie would be doing. Hopefully none of this Trap shit.

 
26. A song that makes you want to fall in love: Maybe I’m Amazed – Paul McCartney. He may be hokey at times, but dammit if this song doesn’t melt me.

 
27. A song that breaks your heart: Purple Rain – Prince. Always has, always will.

 
28. A song by an artist with a voice that you love: Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen. The world was a better place with Freddie in it.

 
29. A song that you remember from your childhood: Ghostbusters – Ray Parker, Jr. That infamous summer of ’84. I had a purple iron on tshirt with the famous “no ghosts” logo on it, but was not allowed to wear it when staying with my Jehovah’s Witness aunt and uncle that summer. *EYE ROLL*

 
30. A song that reminds you of yourself: White & Nerdy – Weird Al Yankovic. Because yeah, yeah, yeah. IT ME.

 

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End of 2017 Roundup

2017 in Review
  1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? I led a fundraiser for my company. We raised just over $1000 for the Virginia Beach SPCA. It was pretty darn great.
  2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I gave up on resolutions ages ago. They’re honestly pointless to me. A great man once sang, “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”.
  3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Unfortunately, yes. And I only say that because I’m a selfish person who sided with the bad guy in Dan Brown’s Inferno, not because I judge anyone’s life choices. giphy
  4. Did anyone close to you die? We had a close call with my mom in law, but no deaths this year. But a lot of folks I know lost very close loved ones.
  5. What countries did you visit? Didn’t leave the bedraggled USA, but I was in Washington, D.C. a lot, and got as far north as MA.
  6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? A decent President.
  7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Probably November 9th, because this happened:

    Some background: A person asked if you were to sing karaoke with you favorite celebrity, what song would you choose, and Lin stepped the fuck UP.

  8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Being aware of the disgusting status of the US government, and doing my best to resist, march, protest, and help get the right people elected.
  9. What was your biggest failure? Not being able to travel to FL when I wanted to. Due to unforeseen financial issues, the trip to see my Orlando area friends (and visit the Harry Potter thing at Universal) wasn’t able to happen. That really bummed me out.
  10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing major, just gained weight and got an ear infection for the first time since being a toddler.
  11. What was the best thing you bought? Concert tickets. I saw Ringo Starr and the man said hello to me from the stage. 378b8d77ce5a64b408abdf6c24865039
  12. Whose behavior merited celebration? All of the folks who have fought the soon to be Fascist government in power. The Women’s March ladies, the #metoo movement, Jose Andres and what he’s doing to help hungry people in Puerto Rico, and the ordinary folks who have gotten off their butts and done SOMETHING.
  13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Our Voldemort President (daily), and the men I admired that ended up either being super creeps or minor creeps. I’m looking at you, Kevin Spacey, Dustin Hoffman, and Al Franken.
  14. Where did most of your money go? Food, alcohol, donations to good causes, and the occasional geeky bit of clothing or thingie.
  15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I was absolutely THRILLED to be at the Lady Gaga show. It was magical for me. And part of it was on TV! And then she won an award! Gaga on American Music Awards
  16. What song will always remind you of 2017? Do You Still Love Me?
  17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c ) richer or poorer? A. Sadder B. FATTER C. Poorer
  18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Definitely hiked more; gotten exercise, been more politically active.
  19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Staring at shit on the internet and wasting time.
  20. How did you spend Christmas? A brief visit with parents, followed by a Game of Thrones marathon.
  21. Did you fall in love in 2017? I fall in love with my dude every day. He’s the best. IMG_8595
  22. What was your favorite TV program? Just one? Nice try. Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, Great News, Legion, The Crown, The Handmaid’s Tale, & Big Little Lies come to mind.
  23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate is a strong word, but I have ended friendships. The state of our nation has made me realize who will be on the right side of history, and I prefer to be friends with those people.
  24. What was the best book you read? I really enjoyed The Devil’s West series by Laura Anne Gilman.
  25. What was your greatest musical discovery? LIZZO, y’all. Water Me
  26. What did you want and get? I got to stay alive?
  27. What did you want and not get? The impeachment of our jackass President.
  28. What was your favorite film of this year? There were a lot of badass films. Dunkirk, Thor: Ragnarok, Wonder Woman, Blade Runner 2049, Baby Driver, & It. But I have to go with Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
  29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Ugh, thanks for reminding me that it’s my 43rd year on this blue marble. I didn’t really do anything on the actual day of my birth, but my favorite present was experiencing the music of Game of Thrones, live. It was lovely. A taste: Winds of Winter
  30. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Seeing so many fun concerts with my dude, and being able to contribute to my favorite podcast, even if it was just a playlist. Check out The Hooray Show with Horatio Sanz.
  31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? Fashion is a concept that will forever allude me. My mom in law gifted me a sweet wrap/sweater thing, however, and I wore it to the Lady Gaga show and felt most fierce. gagaselfie
  32. What kept you sane? Animals. My three cats, the cat we rescued from the streets (who may belong to us in 2018 – stay tuned), the foxes behind my backyard, the critters we helped at the shelter, and the elephant fosters I gifted to family (and the foster I received – Check out the elephant babies!).
  33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Horatio SanzLin, and Ryan Adams were the boys who made me smile the most. 
  34. Who did you miss? I miss Carrie Fisher. Some funny Carrie moments
  35. Who was the best new person you met? I can’t recall meeting someone new, in person that is. But the guys who run the Crooked Media podcasts have been a welcome addition to my internet “pals”.
  36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. Do not put up with anything you don’t want to put up with. This world is too short and fucked up for that. But be kind and good. And funny.
  37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. 
    Are we crazy?
    Livin’ our lives through a lens
    Trapped in our white picket fence
    Like ornaments
    So comfortable, we’re livin’ in a bubble, bubble
    So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble, trouble
    Aren’t you lonely
    Up there in utopia
    Where nothing will ever be enough?
    Happily numb
    So comfortable, we’re livin’ in a bubble, bubble
    So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble, trouble
    Ah, so good
    Your rose-colored glasses on
    And party on (woo)
    Turn it up, it’s your favorite song
    Dance, dance, dance to the distortion
    Turn it up, keep it on repeat
    Stumblin’ around like a wasted zombie
    Yeah, we think we’re free
    Drink, this one’s on me
    We’re all chained to the rhythm
    To the rhythm, to the rhythm
    Turn it up, it’s your favorite song
    Are we tone deaf?
    Keep sweepin’ it under the mat
    Thought we could do better than that
    I hope we can
    So comfortable, we’re livin’ in a bubble, bubble
    So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble, trouble
    Aha, so good (so good)
    Your rose-colored glasses on
    And party on (woo)
    Turn it up, it’s your favorite song (oh)
    Dance, dance, dance to the distortion
    Turn it up, keep it on repeat
    Stumblin’ around like a wasted zombie
    Yeah, we think we’re free
    Drink, this one’s on me
    We’re all chained to the rhythm
    To the rhythm, to the rhythm (woah)
    It is my desire
    Break down the walls to connect, inspire
    Ay, up inna your high place, liars
    Time is ticking for the empire
    The truth they feed is feeble
    As so many times before
    The greed over the people
    They stumblin’ and fumblin’ and we about to riot
    They woke up, they woke up the lions (woah)

My Funny Hometown

I have two things to say, and they’re related, so pay attention.

 

Thing one:  I am a fan of comedy.  Always have been.  SNL.  Monty Python.  Ricky Gervais.  Tina Fey.  Curb Your Enthusiasm.  Blah blah blah.  These are a few of my favorite things.  How do these human beings make such funny stuff?  I want to know.  Maybe I could do it too, some way, some how.  But could I be funny in a place that isn’t Hollywood or NYC or Chicago?  Being the ignorant slut that I am (IT’S AN SNL REFERENCE GARSH), I had no idea, until recently.  The answer is most definitely YES.  I decided to get out of my comfort zone and try an improv class at a place called The Muse.  Who the hell would be teaching this stuff?  Well, a great group called The Pushers.  I was amazed at their talent, kindness, and patience.  Faith in local humanity was restored.  I had a blast learning from them.  I can’t wait to learn more.  Hopefully that will happen soon.  Which brings me to……

Thing two:  I like where I live.  Hampton Roads, VA is a diverse, expansive group of cities.  There’s lots of history, geography, military presence (I mean that in the employment/people sort of way, not the armies waiting to shoot shit sort of way), and things to do.  You know what, though?  It could be even better for the funny, creative, and artistic  geniuses that inhabit this locale.  Norfolk is in the process of creating its own Arts District.  How cool is that?  And how amazing would it be to have our own comedy theater?  Take classes, see shows, and be a part of a comedy community?  I love it.  I’m broke as a joke, but I made a point to contribute to The Pushers’ Kickstarter – Help The Push Comedy Theater!  I am asking you to do the same.  If you also live in the 757, that’s great.  Give them some buckaroos and be a part of the awesome insanity.  Don’t live here?  Well, contribute anyway.  Perhaps your donation will inspire you to be a part of your own local comedy scene.  See who’s performing at your local comedy club when a headlining act isn’t in town.  Look into taking a class – improv, sketch writing, acting, whatever.  You’ll meet some great people.  Like all of these folks who are making a difference in my home town….

And since I just uttered the words “home town”, I’m now forcing you to listen to this….