One Crazy Summer, Not the John Cusack Movie

Well, we’re really in it, aren’t we? The wackiest, saddest, scariest, most isolating summer ever. I hope you’re staying safe, being smart, and doing what you can to keep this pandemic from getting worse than it already is. Which is PRETTY. DAMN. BAD. If you’re from the USA, I hope you’re registered to vote, and that you are going to be a defender of democracy and NOT vote for Stupid Hitler. Or any Republican enabler. Ok, let’s take a deep breath and shake it out.

byrneshake

 

I wanted to share the cutest thing to help me through this bonkers few months (besides HAMILTON ON DISNEY + DUH), and that is a squirrel named Toast. Not sure if it’s a boy or girl (you’d think it would be easy to determine but they don’t exactly let you lift that tail), but for some reason, this brave thing decided to be my friend. Peanuts have majorly contributed, believe me. We have tons of birds and squirrels in our back yard, but Toast has taken charge of being special. It remains chill, loves to look me right in the eyes, and has no problem posing for the camera. I even attempted to make him TikTok famous:

 

I wish I could express to this chonky rodent how much joy and serenity it brings when it stops by.

 

Advertisement

Me On Two Podcasts? In This Economy?

I hope everyone’s hanging in there. If you’ve read this post, you know I was a part of an awesome podcast recording. Well, Belle & Dubs Season Two is now out! I was fortunate to be a part of Episodes Three, Five, and Six! Be sure to check out Belle And Dubs: Subscribe, listen, and laugh! I play Jan Malcolm, an enthusiastic paleontologist, in Episode Five, and a spirited suffragette named Rose in Episode Six. It was so joyful to participate in my friends’ hilarious project. I hope it brings you joy too!

 

Last weekend I got the chance to reunite with my friends from Mouthy Broadcast! I was a moron and forgot all about the recording session, so if I sound off and not very witty, it’s because I jumped on pretty hungover and unprepared. Nevertheless, it was a blast. Love those folks. Click here for Mouthy escapades!

 

Stay safe, my friends!

I-Love-You-GIF-for-Him-and-Her

Belle & Dubs Is What The World Needs

Good afternoon, evening, morning, or witching hour to you. Things have gotten awfully WILD in 2020, huh? My last post was a recap of spending all day at a pop culture convention, with wall to wall strangers, shaking hands, touching, nudging, and who knows what else. Sounds extremely reckless and dangerous considering where we are now, eh? Yeah. To say humanity is a bit ON EDGE is mild at the least. We’re all dealing with this virus as best we can. We’re all suffering. In minor and major ways. If I could give everyone a giant, soft, comforting, socially distant hug I would. In the meantime, let me give you something to please your earholes and your ha-ha reflex. Go, subscribe to Belle and Dubs In the Morning!

RightUnconsciousHermitcrab-max-1mb

How do I describe this immensely fun, silly, smart, pop culture appreciative scripted dose of episodic goodness? Well, let me ask you some questions:

  1. Do you enjoy laughing at things like butts and weiners?
  2. Are you a fan of Grand Theft Auto? Red Dead Redemption? College radio?
  3. Do you like music? Enough that you’d get references to songs and bands and lyrics and the like?

If you answered yes to any of those, this will be a hell of a ride for ya. My friends Justin and Jennie worked their asses off to create this amazing project. They recruited a bunch of hilarious people to take part too – including me! I suppose I can be hilarious. Right? RIGHT. I had a complete blast being a small part of it. Look how much fun we had!!

I admire people who can stay motivated to do creative things because I am lazy and have trouble doing more than consuming art (unless something gives me a super inspirational kick in the butt).  Do yourself a favor and get in on the Belle & Dubs action. The second season has just started – Why are two college radio personalities from San Andreas, CA all of a sudden in a sleepy western spot called Strawberry? Tune in to find out.

 

Press Coverage For The Mysterious Photos

Back on Christmas, I posted this blog about some mysterious pictures that showed up at my mom’s house the day before. It was very odd, and it felt like something that needed resolution ASAP. You see, my family (meaning me and my parents) moved to Virginia back in 1983, thanks to the Navy. Everyone in my immediate family hails from the great state of Massachusetts. My paternal grandparents, uncle, and great grandmother moved down here in the late 1980s and stayed for a while, but all of them have passed away apart from my grandmother (who moved back to MA). They wouldn’t possess any old photos belonging to my mother’s father anyway. SO WHAT THE HELL?! If someone discovered my mom through the ancestry websites she’s been frequenting, why the heck wouldn’t they contact her directly? Or leave a hastily scribbled note along with the photos? Why wouldn’t this person want to connect with her? Why did they go through the trouble of delivering them personally instead of mailing them? Were they worried they’d be rejected or shunned? Was it done on behalf of another person? Ugh, there are  a ton of questions that left unanswered, will haunt my mom (and me to a degree, since some rando knows where she lives and creeped these photos while she was at MY house).

My mom contacted the Virginian Pilot, our local newspaper, and it was covered on the front page.

I tweeted the Pilot article to some of my favorite journalists on our local television stations, and the very sweet Tom Schaad picked it up and did a story for WAVY 10:

IMG_9769

Check it out here.

I honestly just want some closure on this whole issue. We’re a really chill family who wouldn’t mind some new relatives here in Virginia Beach. My mom and dad are retired, and could use some excitement. A newfound family member/friend would be welcome! No shame or judgement here! Personally I am totally down for it. Even if it wasn’t a direct sharer of DNA who sneaked the pictures between the door knob & deadbolt at my beloved parents’ home, I want the TEA! Spill it, stranger! Whatever the backstory is, us Dressers are okay with it.

RecentDependentAyeaye-small

Reunited With Mouthy Broadcast!

I wanted to do a quick post to plug this super fun episode of the podcast I used to be on regularly with some of the greatest and most badass ladies (and one dude) I know. It was great to get back together with the Broads, catch up on what we’ve been up to, wax nostalgic on the past episodes we recorded, and do some straight up laughing. Check it out, won’t you? It’s the 200th episode, so if you’re a new listener, you have 199 other eps to delve into as well! Warning: Not safe for work or easily offended brains. Filled with Hidden Valley Raunch. 

 

BROADS…… ASSEMBLE!!!!!

tenor (1)

Thanks to Jennie, Lauren, Peter, Char, and Jen for a fantastic afternoon. I’d love to do it again.

I Love A Playlist. Even Better When It’s Personal.

I challenge you to make a playlist based on these questions and share it with a blog or social media post of your own. I’m on Spotify, but if you have another platform, do it that way. Share in the comments. I love listening to personal playlists, yo. Here is mine, with the questionnaire/answers below. Oh, and if it looks weirdly alphabetic, you’re like Sherlock or some shit. I used my massive shuffled playlist as a reference. I need things to trigger my old and beleaguered brain.

 

1. A song you like with a color in the title:  Back in Black – AC/DC. Black has a lot of meaning for this song. Brian was introducing himself after Bon Scott’s death, and even though I’m not a huge fangirl of the band, I’m about to rock almost 90% of the time, so I know when to respect it, and be saluted for it. That and the iconic guitar riff.

 
2. A song you like with a number in the title4 Degrees – ANOHNI. Fuckin’ A, this song is POWERFUL. Climate change is real and depressing, and when I first heard this tune full of emotion and realness, I almost died of emotion. It’s so cinematic. And I don’t mean that in a Disney way, I mean montages of awful destruction. Like those slo mo shots of a dead animal decomposing.

 
3. A song that reminds you of summertime: Freeway of Love – Aretha Franklin. I was thinking this tune reminded me of the summer of ’84, but after doing research, it came out a year later, so there’s middle age for ya. It’s kind of silly, but also perfect for an 11 year old kid who really hadn’t acknowledged the power of Aretha yet. Plus American Idol’s own Randy Jackson played bass on it.

 
4. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about: Good Time – Counting Crows. The last dude I hooked up with before I met my wonderful partner of 16 years liked Counting Crows, and Hard Candy was their latest one back then. He was a waiter at TGI Friday’s, and we had sex with a tarantula in the room. YIKES. Nothing really against him, but I’d rather not recall doing it with a large spider close by.

 
5. A song that needs to be played LOUD: I Want It That Way – Backstreet Boys. COME ON. When this jam comes on I crank it and pretend I give a shit about boy bands. This is a good song and you can’t sing along unless it’s super loud.

 
6. A song that makes you want to dance: Hey Ladies – Beastie Boys.  Do I need to explain this?

 
7. A song to drive to: Mother Nature’s Son – The Beatles. In my cinematic mind, I picture myself in some sort of convertible vehicle, or a Volkswagen Bus, with my hand out of the window, making waves.

 
8. A song about drugs or alcohol: Gimme Some More – Busta Rhymes. Yo Spliff, where the weed at? Also, remember when Flip Mode was the greatest?

 
9. A song that makes you happy: Finally – Cece Peniston. There has NEVER been a time when I heard this song and didn’t smile, or pretend I was a drag queen, or remembered Cece’s adorable face in the video.

 

 
10. A song that makes you sad: I Just Shot John Lennon – The Cranberries. Why would you make this song, Cranberries? Shit, it made me sad for obvious reasons back in the day, but now that Dolores is gone, it makes me want to cry even more. Ugh.

 
11. A song that you never get tired of: Suite: Judy Blue Eyes – Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young. A masterpiece of a song. Harmonies, catchiness, and did I mention HARMONIES?

 
12. A song from your preteen years: Victims – Culture Club. I kind of want to pat myself on the back for appreciating songs like this when I was 11 or 12.

 
13. One of your favorite 80’s songs: Boys Don’t Cry – The Cure. I caught on to Robert Smith and the gang in the late 80’s, thanks to some junior high pals and some weird Half Hour Comedy Hour skit on MTV (does anyone know what I’m talking about?).

 
14. A song that you would love played at your wedding: On My Mind – Damone. I was married once, and our wedding song was a good one. It sucks that it’s attached to something that didn’t work out. This gem would totally be in the wedding I have no intention of ever having. Because once is enough.

 
15. A song that is a cover by another artist: Street Spirit (Fade Out) – The Darkness. Do not even joke with me – this version FUCKING RULES.

 
16. Your favorite movie or TV theme: The Batman Theme – Danny Elfman. This needs no explanation. EPIC.

 
17. A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke: Dancing In The Street – David Bowie & Mick Jagger. Who wouldn’t want to recreate those… interesting dance moves? And hint that you’ve slept together? And wear those badass 80’s outfits (in your head at least)?

 
18. A song from the year that you were born: Waterloo – ABBA. One of the greatest pop songs to ever pop. And be a Eurovision WINNER!

 
19. A song that makes you think about life: People Are People – Depeche Mode. I remember dancing around to this song in my grandparents’ pool cabana as a kid, innocently thinking how silly it is that people are mean to each other.

 
20. A song that has many meanings to you: The Edge of Glory – Lady Gaga. I belted out this jam for quite a while, thinking it had something to do with telling your haters to screw off & live like you’re dying. Then Gaga said this (from Wikipedia): “It was about how when my grandma was standing over my grandfather while he was dying. There was this moment where I felt like he had sort of looked at her and reckoned that he had won in life. Like, ‘I’m a champion. We won. Our love made us a winner.’ They were married 60 years. I thought about that idea, that the glorious moment of your life is when you decide that it’s okay to go, you don’t have any more words to say, more business, more mountains to climb. You’re on the cliff, you tip your hat to yourself and you go. That’s what it was for me in that moment when I witnessed it.” FUUUUUUUUCK.

 
21. A favorite song with a person’s name in the title: It’s A Shame About Ray – The Lemonheads. I saw Evan Dando sing this two feet in front of me. It was beautiful.

 
22. A song that makes you laugh: Jizz In My Pants – The Lonely Island. Anything Andy, Jorma, and Akiva do is fucking hysterical.

 
23. A song that you think everybody should listen to: Me & Magdalena – The Monkees. I cried tears of nostalgia and joy when I heard this. Nesmith & Dolenz have some beautiful harmonies.

 
24. A song by a band you wish were still together: Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle – Nirvana. I wonder what the hell Kurt would be doing musically if he was still around….

 
25. A song by an artist no longer living: Ten Crack Commandments – The Notorious B.I.G. I also wonder what stuff Biggie would be doing. Hopefully none of this Trap shit.

 
26. A song that makes you want to fall in love: Maybe I’m Amazed – Paul McCartney. He may be hokey at times, but dammit if this song doesn’t melt me.

 
27. A song that breaks your heart: Purple Rain – Prince. Always has, always will.

 
28. A song by an artist with a voice that you love: Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen. The world was a better place with Freddie in it.

 
29. A song that you remember from your childhood: Ghostbusters – Ray Parker, Jr. That infamous summer of ’84. I had a purple iron on tshirt with the famous “no ghosts” logo on it, but was not allowed to wear it when staying with my Jehovah’s Witness aunt and uncle that summer. *EYE ROLL*

 
30. A song that reminds you of yourself: White & Nerdy – Weird Al Yankovic. Because yeah, yeah, yeah. IT ME.

 

weird-al-lin-manuel-jimmy-fallon-hamilton-polka

End of 2017 Roundup

2017 in Review
  1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? I led a fundraiser for my company. We raised just over $1000 for the Virginia Beach SPCA. It was pretty darn great.
  2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I gave up on resolutions ages ago. They’re honestly pointless to me. A great man once sang, “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”.
  3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Unfortunately, yes. And I only say that because I’m a selfish person who sided with the bad guy in Dan Brown’s Inferno, not because I judge anyone’s life choices. giphy
  4. Did anyone close to you die? We had a close call with my mom in law, but no deaths this year. But a lot of folks I know lost very close loved ones.
  5. What countries did you visit? Didn’t leave the bedraggled USA, but I was in Washington, D.C. a lot, and got as far north as MA.
  6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? A decent President.
  7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Probably November 9th, because this happened:

    Some background: A person asked if you were to sing karaoke with you favorite celebrity, what song would you choose, and Lin stepped the fuck UP.

  8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Being aware of the disgusting status of the US government, and doing my best to resist, march, protest, and help get the right people elected.
  9. What was your biggest failure? Not being able to travel to FL when I wanted to. Due to unforeseen financial issues, the trip to see my Orlando area friends (and visit the Harry Potter thing at Universal) wasn’t able to happen. That really bummed me out.
  10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing major, just gained weight and got an ear infection for the first time since being a toddler.
  11. What was the best thing you bought? Concert tickets. I saw Ringo Starr and the man said hello to me from the stage. 378b8d77ce5a64b408abdf6c24865039
  12. Whose behavior merited celebration? All of the folks who have fought the soon to be Fascist government in power. The Women’s March ladies, the #metoo movement, Jose Andres and what he’s doing to help hungry people in Puerto Rico, and the ordinary folks who have gotten off their butts and done SOMETHING.
  13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Our Voldemort President (daily), and the men I admired that ended up either being super creeps or minor creeps. I’m looking at you, Kevin Spacey, Dustin Hoffman, and Al Franken.
  14. Where did most of your money go? Food, alcohol, donations to good causes, and the occasional geeky bit of clothing or thingie.
  15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I was absolutely THRILLED to be at the Lady Gaga show. It was magical for me. And part of it was on TV! And then she won an award! Gaga on American Music Awards
  16. What song will always remind you of 2017? Do You Still Love Me?
  17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c ) richer or poorer? A. Sadder B. FATTER C. Poorer
  18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Definitely hiked more; gotten exercise, been more politically active.
  19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Staring at shit on the internet and wasting time.
  20. How did you spend Christmas? A brief visit with parents, followed by a Game of Thrones marathon.
  21. Did you fall in love in 2017? I fall in love with my dude every day. He’s the best. IMG_8595
  22. What was your favorite TV program? Just one? Nice try. Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, Great News, Legion, The Crown, The Handmaid’s Tale, & Big Little Lies come to mind.
  23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate is a strong word, but I have ended friendships. The state of our nation has made me realize who will be on the right side of history, and I prefer to be friends with those people.
  24. What was the best book you read? I really enjoyed The Devil’s West series by Laura Anne Gilman.
  25. What was your greatest musical discovery? LIZZO, y’all. Water Me
  26. What did you want and get? I got to stay alive?
  27. What did you want and not get? The impeachment of our jackass President.
  28. What was your favorite film of this year? There were a lot of badass films. Dunkirk, Thor: Ragnarok, Wonder Woman, Blade Runner 2049, Baby Driver, & It. But I have to go with Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
  29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Ugh, thanks for reminding me that it’s my 43rd year on this blue marble. I didn’t really do anything on the actual day of my birth, but my favorite present was experiencing the music of Game of Thrones, live. It was lovely. A taste: Winds of Winter
  30. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Seeing so many fun concerts with my dude, and being able to contribute to my favorite podcast, even if it was just a playlist. Check out The Hooray Show with Horatio Sanz.
  31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? Fashion is a concept that will forever allude me. My mom in law gifted me a sweet wrap/sweater thing, however, and I wore it to the Lady Gaga show and felt most fierce. gagaselfie
  32. What kept you sane? Animals. My three cats, the cat we rescued from the streets (who may belong to us in 2018 – stay tuned), the foxes behind my backyard, the critters we helped at the shelter, and the elephant fosters I gifted to family (and the foster I received – Check out the elephant babies!).
  33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Horatio SanzLin, and Ryan Adams were the boys who made me smile the most. 
  34. Who did you miss? I miss Carrie Fisher. Some funny Carrie moments
  35. Who was the best new person you met? I can’t recall meeting someone new, in person that is. But the guys who run the Crooked Media podcasts have been a welcome addition to my internet “pals”.
  36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. Do not put up with anything you don’t want to put up with. This world is too short and fucked up for that. But be kind and good. And funny.
  37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. 
    Are we crazy?
    Livin’ our lives through a lens
    Trapped in our white picket fence
    Like ornaments
    So comfortable, we’re livin’ in a bubble, bubble
    So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble, trouble
    Aren’t you lonely
    Up there in utopia
    Where nothing will ever be enough?
    Happily numb
    So comfortable, we’re livin’ in a bubble, bubble
    So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble, trouble
    Ah, so good
    Your rose-colored glasses on
    And party on (woo)
    Turn it up, it’s your favorite song
    Dance, dance, dance to the distortion
    Turn it up, keep it on repeat
    Stumblin’ around like a wasted zombie
    Yeah, we think we’re free
    Drink, this one’s on me
    We’re all chained to the rhythm
    To the rhythm, to the rhythm
    Turn it up, it’s your favorite song
    Are we tone deaf?
    Keep sweepin’ it under the mat
    Thought we could do better than that
    I hope we can
    So comfortable, we’re livin’ in a bubble, bubble
    So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble, trouble
    Aha, so good (so good)
    Your rose-colored glasses on
    And party on (woo)
    Turn it up, it’s your favorite song (oh)
    Dance, dance, dance to the distortion
    Turn it up, keep it on repeat
    Stumblin’ around like a wasted zombie
    Yeah, we think we’re free
    Drink, this one’s on me
    We’re all chained to the rhythm
    To the rhythm, to the rhythm (woah)
    It is my desire
    Break down the walls to connect, inspire
    Ay, up inna your high place, liars
    Time is ticking for the empire
    The truth they feed is feeble
    As so many times before
    The greed over the people
    They stumblin’ and fumblin’ and we about to riot
    They woke up, they woke up the lions (woah)

Some 2016 Songs I Like

One of my few constants in the garbage fire that was 2016 was the music. There were some good damn tunes. This post is going to feature random jams that had a good combo of feels, beats, or an interesting video. But mostly feels. The feels ruled 2016! If you want the complete list of songs I loved last year, check this playlist:

 

On to the videos…..

Purple Lamborghini by Skrillex & Rick Ross

 

What the hell is this ridiculous crap and why do I like it? Well, as the Beach Boys said, God only knows. I think the beat is a bit infectious, and I stay awake at night imagining a car “lurking”. It makes me laugh. I think of…

lurking

I don’t know. Also, the video for this song is pretty funny. Jared Leto doing his hipster Joker thing with Skrillex & Rick being video stars in front of him. ROZAY!

 

It’s Quiet Uptown by Kelly Clarkson

I love that Kelly is basically all of us, trying to sing along to a song in the car that brings so many feels that we lose our shit and have to adjust our makeup/composure at the next stoplight. Quit staring at me, guy in the pickup truck – I’m singing along to a song about a couple who lost their teenage son! And I’m singing along with the singer who was pregnant with her kid while she was singing this song! DON’T YOU GET IT?

feels

 

4 Degrees by Anohni

Why doesn’t this song have an actual video? It could be so devastating I might leap from the first edifice I find, so… never mind. The song itself is enough. Between the global warming themed lyrics to the agonizingly melancholic voice of Anohni, we’re all doomed.

 

The Greatest by Sia

Oh jeez. I started with a goofy assed rap song and spiraled into the depths of emotion, didn’t I? Well, SORRY NOT SORRY. I’ve been on the Sia tip since last year, and the lady knows how to meld her incredibly powerful voice with the most incredibly expressive tween dancer, Maddie Ziegler. The choreography makes for some beautiful art. An empowering tribute to the victims of the Orlando nightclub shooting, this song/video punches you in the heart and makes you want to celebrate being a human in all its weirdness.

snape

 

One more and you can go blow your nose or eat some ice cream or hug your cat.

Million Reasons by Lady Gaga

I had some options in terms of which version of this song I’d post, but this one was it, considering Gaga doesn’t require extreme meat dress fashion craziness to prove her fucking point. I loved the theatricality of her previous endeavors, but the Joanne album (along with the Tony Bennett collaboration and some fantastic performances the year prior) has proved she has WAY MORE going on. She’s an incredibly gifted singer and can craft a pop song. The Lady has learned that channeling her passion into plain ol’ good songs is just as kickass as being extravagant and… ARTPOP-ish? Do your thang, Mother Monster. I will bow down either way.

 

 

Okay, I have messed with you enough. Go get a massage and listen to the Spice Girls or something.

I Feel Bad For The Woodpecker

Remember that amazing photo that turned into a “hilarious” meme? The weasel riding the woodpecker? Here, look:

WeaselPecker031

It came from amateur photographer, on a lovely walk with his wife, who wanted to show her a Green Woodpecker. He got his wish, he snapped this picture when he heard its distressed call, and that turned into stuff like this:

gandalfwoodpecker

Comical, right? Well, not really. Sure, it’s an incredible wildlife shot, the kind of stuff you’d never normally see, unless Sir David Attenborough was narrating in the background on your television. I understand that something so magnificent does things to the Internet. It inspires creativity and whatnot. But it’s not cute or laughable to me. When I look at it, honestly, it reminds me of this:

monkfire

I’m not comparing weasels and woodpeckers to a monk self-immolating in protest, I’m saying my emotions were jarred looking at both photos for the first time. I saw faith and sadness and selflessness looking at the above picture. When I looked at that woodpecker’s horrified eyes, I felt its terror. There was a predator on its back, trying to snap its neck and it was fleeing in a desperate attempt to save itself.

Animal photos and videos are a major staple of the internet. They can be adorable, funny, mean, goofy, and everything in between. However, things can be misinterpreted. I don’t think it’s funny or viral when there’s an animal in distress featured in a video or photograph. Here’s another example:

A Cute Cat With A Funny Meow? No, that cat is clearly upset about something and I don’t think it’s amusing.

Not everyone can realize when a critter is scared or reacting negatively to something. It’s not a perfect world, but I wish humans would educate themselves about our fellow citizens of Earth. They are going through some tough things too.